Wham, Bam, Thank you Mam!

Black women. We’re strong. We’re sexy. We’re inspiring. We’re smart. However the media is doing a horrible job of illuminating these qualities in us. I know, most, if not all of us are Sex and the City fans—strong, independent, successful, single and dating. One is a successful author, one is a lawyer, one a publicist, and the last one is a successful art curator. Their jobs and fashion are unremarkable. Can black women be viewed in the same manner and still have a stunningly successful show?

It’s been quite sometime since Girlfriends has been on the air, but this show was our Sex and the City. A lawyer, a real estate agent, an author, and an over-educated hippie. They were classy, sexy, single, and looking for love. Where are the Girlfriends of today? We are bombarded today by the likes of Basketball Wives (where no one is actually married to a basketball player), the Real Housewives of Atlanta, the obnoxious baby mama in Tyler Perry’s latest film, and the newest show, Single Ladies. While these shows don’t exactly show us in the best light, we watch them because, Yes, they are entertaining. I must admit that I do love RHOA!!!!

Single Ladies, advertised as the Girlfriends meets Sex and the City, is nothing of the sorts, at least from what I’ve seen. The ladies are sexy, single, and shady! One is an aspiring fashion mogul—ok. One is an ex-video dancer, conning men—hmmm. The last is a happily married woman who just happens to be cheating on her husband—shady. The show has a great deal of Black Star Power so it should be a good watch. As it concerns my take on the show, well the final verdict isn’t in yet. I’ll give the show a fair and unbiased analysis prior to judgment. Check out Single Ladies, Monday nights at 9pm on VH1. Let me know what you think!

Rivers, and Ghosts, and Beaches, OH MY!

Spontaneity is the name of the game. This past weekend, we took a trip down River Street…not Easy Street. LOL. The roadtrip was fun; miles of open road, time to think and nothing by quality time with my mate (was that Australian?) Aside from the tan I got in the car, I wouldn’t change a thing. The hotel sat directly on the Savannah River with views reminiscent of landscape paintings. We took a tour of the historic city of Savannah on foot, trolley, and on the ferry. We dined at Paula Deen’s Lady and Sons. We learned of the ghostly and gruesome things that happened but the city rose like a Phoenix.

From River Street to the beach, we ventured over to Tybee Island for some sand and seafood. The water was nice and the breeze was cool. If you’re ever in Tybee, check out the Crab Shack. We had crab legs, crawfish, oysters, shrimp, sausage, and corn….and that was all one meal! The journey home proved to be just as fun…I slept a great deal of the way. I hope to go back soon and I encourage you to check it out! Where to next?

The Thrill is Gone....

Sam Cooke. Teddy Pendergrass. Luther Vandross. These were real R & B artists. What has happened to music today? No longer do we hear the songs of the old where the woman was wined and dined—songs today totally skip that part and we’re right down to the nitty gritty. Where is the romance? While I’m sure we’ve all snapped and tapped to Usher, Trey Songz and the likes, can we ever get back to the Lenny Williams era where romance and chivalry were real?

Goodie Mob. Outkast. Tupac. Mos Def. Real rappers. Their music told stories. Their stories had meaning. Rap to them was more than a money maker; it was a way out—a way out of the shackles that bound them both mentally and physically. And I’d be remiss not to mention the likes of Kool Moe Dee, Run DMC, and of course Too Short (that’s for you Roswell). I caution you now: Do not listen to the lyrics or rap songs today for fear of disappointment and misogynistic tones. While I confess that Racks on Racks and Goin’ Steady have catchy beats, these are not cruisin’ and ridin’ songs. Rap and R & B have shifted more into material things. While every now and then a lyrical genius like Kanye, Lil Wayne, and Jay Z emerges, there is yet and still a void. Music has definitely changed….the thrill is gone.

If you’ve got any artists you’d recommend I’d love to hear them. Right now I’m on Adele, Corinne Bailey Rae, Jazmine Sullivan, Rick Ross, and Marsha Ambrosius.

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Love is such a mystical thing. We dream of the perfect man. We dream of meeting the perfect man at the perfect time. Are we dreaming too big? Have we lost sight of what really matters? God does not always send us the package wrapped exactly as we would expect it.

Love is not perfect. Love is messy. Love is ridiculous, inconvenient, and consuming. Love comes in so many forms, yet sometimes there are things in relationships that we can't or shouldn't have to deal with. Do we stay because of love? Well, when is love enough? In a word, NEVER. Love is never enough. If love were all it took, it would probably be the only emotion we had. Yet we have anger, jealousy, anxiety and stress. Because life isn’t perfect, love is not perfect. Love takes work and anything worth having, is worth working for.

So let’s talk about what’s real. In today’s society, it is difficult to come across a man that is NOT, gay, married, on probation, in relationship, or already a father. So, how do we manage? If you let the media tell it, black women will never marry. A CNN study, tells us that Forty-five percent of black women in America have never been married, compared with 23 percent of white women, according to the U.S. Census Bureau's American Community Survey in 2006.

Have we become such “strong, black, independent women” that we do not need men? Are we setting our standards too high? Is fear of making the wrong decision, preventing us from making any decisions on love at all?

In efforts to keep this brief, I say open up and allow yourself to love and be loved. While many of us are scarred by our pasts, leave the past in the past. Work for your love. Relationships are 100/100, not 50/50. Do not settle for good enough but know when to pick your battles. Think Tyler Perry’s 80/20 Rule.

I will say this however, when you’ve worked as hard as you can and can’t work anymore and you’re still in a rut, then have the courage to let go. We’ll continue this topic. I’m interested to hear what others have to say.

“I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.”—Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City)

Love and Basketball

As my husband so wonderfully pointed out, I failed to acknowledge the fact that we are in the midst of the NBA Playoffs. Hawks vs. Bulls, Mavericks vs. Lakers, Grizzlies vs. Thunder, and Celtics vs. Heat. I pretty much cheer for whom ever my husband is going for, so I guess I’m going for the Hawks and Celtics….oh and the Thunder is a made up team!

The Hawks took Game 1, but they really need to get their life together; at this very moment, they’re in the third quarter of Game 2 and they’re down by 11. I’ve got the faith.

These past weeks have brought about some of the worst weather we’ve had in a long time. There were over 300 tornados that ripped through more than 13 states in one day! For those of you who don’t believe in Global Warming or the Messiah, I say to you Reduce, Reuse, Recycle and get your life right with Jesus. My heart goes out to those that suffered any kind of loss during these times.

Oh, for all my couponers, I am really excited to embark upon this journey. I have always been a thrifty grocery shopper, but the efforts of couponers surpass anything I could have imagined. Now I will say that if you’re one of those people that buys a lot of crap because it’s on sale, that’s not what I’m going for. I don’t need 47 cans of cat food or 31 bottles of turtle wax—you get the point. With that being said, I’m seeking ideas, methods, and other info from my fellow couponers. Let’s save some money!!!




The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are. -Unknown

A Wedding and a Funeral

This past weekend I had the opportunity to reunite with friends and enjoy Twilight in Athens. Alyssa B., Christi, Lauren, Clay, Roswell and myself had a wonderful dinner at Shokitini then enjoyed the one night in Athens when it’s okay to have an open container. Twilight was a wonderful experience. It was quite disappointing that no one wiped out during the course of the race, but other than that, we had a great time. Say no to Four Loco!

On May 1, 2011 emerged Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Smith. Congratulations to the lovely couple. Much love from all of us and it was a beautiful service. I was delighted to meet Katie and Matthew’s families. Have fun on your honeymoon and throughout your marriage.

After the cake had been cut and the party ended, we all returned to our homes to find that the United States armed forces had killed Osama bin Laden. Mixed emotions were felt—is this the end of terrorism? Will Al Qaeda retaliate? Well for now, we delight in the fact that the man at the head of the regime responsible for September 11^th and other attacks is twenty thousand leagues under the sea.

….A wedding and a funeral, but both joyous events.

P.S. I learned what "photo bombing" is! Thanks Alyssa B.

...a long time coming

Greetings!

It surely has been a long time since my last post but only through the urgings and inspiration of a coworker have I decided to revive The Journey of a Girl. Here’s what has been going on since my last post:

I’m a married woman now. You may now refer to me as Mrs. Lawrence. I was married in Saint Thomas, US Virgin Islands. Please check out our site for a few pictures. http://www.ewedding.com/sites/TionyaRoswell/

I’m a nurse working in Athens and living in my beautiful home in Winder. Oh and I’m a minister’s wife!

All my friends have moved away…shout out to France, North Carolina, D.C., New York, Columbus, and Atlanta…you all know who you are. Let’s get together soon.

Sarah Palin…need I say more?

Floods and landslides, and earthquakes oh my!

Umm…this next statement pales in comparison to the aforementioned, but Verizon got the iPhone.

I FINALLY upgraded my phone.

Packers defeat Steelers and football may be on the brink of extinction.

Gadhafi :-(

The Royal Wedding is FINALLY over. Too much coverage and they didn’t even invite the Obamas…I do however think Kanye West was invited. Hmmm?


This is just a little snippet. Here we’ll explore life, love, religion, movies, books, politics, travel, etc etc. I look forward to hearing input from you guys; someone has to keep me in check and challenge my authority! Have a great weekend!

Live. Laugh. Love

Tionya Lawrence